What Not to Share in a Job Interview: Recruiter-Proof Guide
If you’re serious about landing your next role, you need to master what not to share in a job interview just as much as what to say.
Bonnie Dilber, a long-time recruiter and hiring manager across education, non-profits, and tech (now leading business recruiting at Zapier), puts it bluntly: companies want low-risk, high-reward hires. That means anything you say that hints at drama, unreliability, or distraction is a problem—even if you don’t mean it that way.
In this guide, we’ll break down:
- What to avoid saying or revealing
- Why it quietly scares off hiring managers
- What to say instead (with ready-to-use scripts)
- How and when to bring up things like leave, accommodations, and salary
By the end, you’ll know exactly how to present yourself as the obvious, low-risk choice—without lying, oversharing, or hurting your chances.
🧠 Why Employers Care What You Share
From the hiring side, an interview is basically risk management.
- Can this person do the job? (skills, experience, learning ability)
- Will they be a headache? (drama, reliability, professionalism)
- Will they stick around long enough to be worth it?
Recruiters and managers are scanning your answers for risk signals: complaining about past employers, sounding desperate, over-focusing on perks, or revealing future disruptions in a way that makes you look half-committed. Research with Fortune 500 hiring managers shows that badmouthing previous employers, seeming desperate, and lack of preparation are among the fastest ways to get rejected.
Career sites like Indeed, The Muse, and others consistently warn against:
- Talking negatively about previous jobs or bosses
- Making the interview all about pay, benefits, or leave
- Highlighting your weaknesses more than your strengths
Bonnie Dilber’s advice lines up perfectly with this: share what proves you’re a strong, future-focused hire—not what explains your past struggles.
🚫 What Not to Share in a Job Interview
Let’s go through the three big categories Bonnie calls out—and why they’re dangerous.
😬 Past Job Struggles and Job-Hunt Drama
Things to avoid saying:
- “I’ve been job hunting for months and it’s been really hard.”
- “My last company was toxic, my boss was awful.”
- “I keep getting rejected and I’m not sure why.”
To you, this might sound honest and vulnerable. To a hiring manager, it can sound like:
- You might be underperforming
- You might bring negativity into the team
- Other employers saw red flags and passed
Multiple career resources warn that speaking badly about former employers or centering your lack of success in interviews is a common deal-breaker.
It’s not that you can never mention challenges—you just don’t center them. You reframe them into lessons learned and skills gained.
🍼 Planned Leaves, Medical Needs, and Accommodations (Too Early)
Examples of what people often overshare too early:
- “By the way, I’m planning parental leave later this year.”
- “I have a chronic condition, so I’ll need regular time off.”
- “I already booked a long vacation in three months.”
Legally, many countries (including Canada, the US, UK, EU, etc.) protect you from discrimination based on pregnancy, disability, and similar factors. But let’s be adults: bias still exists, even when it’s unconscious.
Talking about major leaves, medical needs, or accommodations in the first interview:
- Gives the interviewer something irrelevant (and potentially bias-triggering) to think about
- Moves focus away from your value and onto your “complexity”
Bonnie’s advice is smart: wait until the company is invested in you—ideally once you have a conditional offer. At that point, HR and your future manager are planning how to bring you in, not whether they should bother at all.
💸 Overemphasis on Compensation and Benefits
Nobody expects you to work for free. Salary, benefits, remote options—these matter.
But leading with this:
- “How much vacation do I get?”
- “Do you cover 100% of benefits?”
- “Is there a signing bonus? Stock?”
…especially in the first conversation, often reads as:
“I care more about what I get than what I do.”
Career sites like Indeed specifically warn against making the first conversation all about pay, benefits, or perks; they recommend waiting until later in the process or after an offer when possible.
You absolutely should negotiate and protect your value. You just don’t want your very first impression to be “money first, work second.”
✅ What to Say Instead: Low-Risk, High-Reward Answers
Here’s how to stay honest without tanking your chances.
🙂 Instead of: “I’ve been rejected by a lot of companies…”
Try this:
“I’ve been intentional in my search and focused on roles where I can really add value in [X skill/area]. This role stood out because it aligns strongly with my experience in [Y] and my interest in [Z].”
You’re still acknowledging you’re looking—but now the emphasis is focus and fit, not rejection.
🙂 Instead of Complaining About Your Old Job
Avoid:
- “My last boss was incompetent.”
- “The culture was toxic.”
Try:
“I’m looking for a culture that values [ownership, transparency, learning]. In my last role I learned a lot, but I realized I do my best work in environments where [specific positive trait this company is known for]. That’s one reason I’m excited about this opportunity.”
This keeps it forward-looking, respectful, and value-driven.
🙂 Instead of Leading With “I Need Leave/Accommodations”
You don’t have to hide your life. But timing matters.
Early on, keep it focused on the work:
“I’m excited about the responsibilities in this role, especially [X and Y], and I can see myself really contributing to [Z outcome].”
Once you have an offer (or you’re close to it), then you can say something like:
“I’m very excited about the offer. I do have an upcoming [parental leave/medical situation/vacation] that I want to plan responsibly with you so we can make sure the team is covered.”
Now they’re solving a planning problem, not deciding whether you’re worth the effort.
🙂 Instead of Making the Interview About Money
When they ask why you’re interested, don’t say:
- “The salary range is great.”
Try:
“The role lines up well with my strengths in [A, B, C], and I’m especially excited about [project, mission, tech stack, customers]. I’m looking for a place where I can grow in [specific area] and have real impact, and this seems like a strong fit.”
When salary comes up (and it should), answer directly but professionally:
“Based on my experience in [field] and the scope of this role, I’m targeting a range of $X–$Y. That said, I’m most interested in the right fit and the chance to contribute meaningfully.”
That’s confident but not greedy.
🧩 A Simple Filter: What Belongs in the Interview, What Doesn’t
Use this rule of thumb:
“Does this information clearly help them see that I can succeed in this role?”
If the answer is no or not really, it probably doesn’t belong in an early interview.
Great to share early:
- Relevant experience and hard skills
- Examples of impact (metrics, before/after stories)
- How you learn, adapt, and collaborate
- Why this specific company and team
Better saved for later stages (offer / negotiation / onboarding):
- Medical accommodations and ongoing treatments
- Parental leave plans
- Pre-booked long vacations
- Detailed salary demands, bonuses, and fringe perks
If something is legally protected (health, pregnancy, religion, etc.), you are not obligated to volunteer it in an interview. If it genuinely affects your ability to do the role, you can discuss it when they’ve already decided they want you.
🛡️ Handling Sensitive Topics Legally and Ethically
Quick reality check:
- Employers shouldn’t discriminate based on pregnancy, disability, or family status.
- Some will still have unconscious biases, even if they don’t mean to.
So your job is to:
- Know your rights in your jurisdiction (e.g., human rights and employment standards legislation).
- Decide your comfort level with sharing early vs. later.
- Frame sensitive topics around responsibility and planning, not excuses.
Example if you must mention something earlier (say you’re mid-treatment and scheduling matters):
“I want to be transparent that I have a recurring medical treatment that requires me to be out for [X hours] once every [time period]. It hasn’t prevented me from meeting or exceeding expectations in my previous roles, and I’m happy to work with you to plan around it so the team is fully supported.”
You’re signaling: reliable, proactive, and grown-up about it.
(Standard disclaimer: this is general career guidance, not legal advice. For specific situations, talk to a lawyer, union rep, or local employment clinic.)
📝 Sample Scripts You Can Steal
Here are plug-and-play answers aligned with Bonnie Dilber’s guidance.
💬 “Tell me about your job search.”
“I’ve been focusing my search on roles where I can use my strengths in [X, Y] and keep growing in [Z]. This position stood out because of your work in [specific area] and the opportunity to [impact].”
💬 “Why are you leaving your current role?”
“I’ve learned a lot in my current role, especially in [A, B]. I’m now looking for a place where I can take on more ownership in [C] and contribute to [specific outcome], which is why this opportunity is exciting to me.”
💬 “What didn’t you like about your last job?”
“Every role has trade-offs. One thing I realized is that I thrive in environments with [e.g., more cross-functional collaboration / clearer product direction]. That’s something I see emphasized here, and it’s a big part of why I’m interested.”
💬 “Are you interviewing elsewhere?”
“I’m having a few conversations, but I’m focused on finding the right mutual fit. This role is especially appealing because of [concrete reasons tied to the job].”
💬 “What are your salary expectations?”
“Based on my experience in [field] and the responsibilities we’ve discussed, I’m targeting $X–$Y. I’m also looking for a role where I can grow and make a meaningful impact, and this seems aligned.”
🔄 Handling Tricky Follow-Up Questions
Sometimes interviewers cross lines—intentionally or not.
Examples:
- “Are you planning to have kids soon?”
- “Do you have any health issues that will affect your work?”
These are usually illegal or inappropriate in many jurisdictions, and you don’t have to answer directly.
You can respond with:
“I’m fully able to perform the essential functions of this role, and I’m excited about the opportunity. Is there anything specific about the job’s requirements you’d like me to clarify?”
If they keep pushing on personal topics, that’s a red flag about the company—not about you.
❓ FAQ: What Not to Share in a Job Interview
🤔 1. Should I ever admit I’ve been unemployed for a long time?
Yes—but keep it simple and future-focused. For example:
“I took some time to [retrain / care for family / reassess my direction], and now I’m excited to bring my refreshed skills in [X] to a role like this.”
Don’t give a ten-minute monologue about how hard the job market has been.
🤔 2. Do I have to tell them I’m pregnant?
In most places, no. You’re not required to disclose pregnancy in interviews. Many people wait until after they’ve received and accepted an offer, then work with HR on timing and leave planning.
🤔 3. When is the right time to mention a pre-booked vacation?
Ideal time: after an offer but before you sign and start. Something like:
“I’m excited to accept. I do want to flag that I have a pre-booked trip from [date] to [date]. I’d like to coordinate with you so we plan my start and onboarding around that.”
Most reasonable employers will work with you.
🤔 4. Can I be honest that I left a toxic workplace?
You can be honest without trash-talking. Focus on what you learned and what you’re moving toward, not the drama:
“I realized I work best in environments with [trait A, trait B], and I’m looking for that going forward.”
This lines up with advice from recruiters and hiring experts who warn against speaking negatively about previous employers.
🤔 5. Is it bad to ask about salary in the first interview?
It depends on the market and culture. If the range wasn’t posted and salary is a make-or-break issue, you can politely ask:
“To make sure we’re aligned before we go too far, can you share the salary range you’ve budgeted for this role?”
Just don’t make every question about money.
🤔 6. What if I need medical accommodations from day one?
You still don’t have to share details of your diagnosis. You can talk about what you need, not what you have:
“To perform at my best, I’ll need [X accommodation]. I’ve successfully done this in previous roles and can work with you to make sure it’s smooth for the team.”
If it’s critical to your ability to accept the job, you may bring it up once the company is clearly serious about hiring you (late-stage interview or offer).
🤔 7. How honest should I be about using AI or tools to prepare?
Most hiring managers don’t mind that you used tools to prepare—they care that you can do the work yourself. Over-reliance on AI during interviews or in application materials, especially if it leads to dishonesty, is something Fortune 500 hiring managers now flag as a problem.
Be honest about using tools for prep, but make sure you can back everything up with your own thinking.
🤔 8. Can I talk openly about wanting remote work or flexibility?
Yes—just frame it professionally:
“I’ve done my best work in hybrid/remote environments, and I’m ideally looking for [arrangement]. Can you share how this role is set up today?”
Don’t present flexibility as “I don’t really want to be here,” but as what helps you perform at your best.
🏁 Final Thoughts: Share Strategically, Not Secretively
Knowing what not to share in a job interview isn’t about being fake—it’s about being strategic.
Bonnie Dilber’s core message is simple:
- Don’t center your struggles, rejections, or drama.
- Don’t lead with leave, accommodations, or perks.
- Do focus relentlessly on your strengths, impact, and fit for the role.
You’re not obligated to hand over every detail of your personal life to a stranger who hasn’t decided to hire you yet. They’re assessing risk; you’re presenting evidence that hiring you is a smart bet.
Present yourself as:
- Competent
- Future-focused
- Low-drama
- Excited to contribute
…and you drastically tilt the odds in your favour.
If you want to tighten up your professional presence—from interviews to LinkedIn and beyond—consider reviewing our other guides on AI-assisted personal branding and career growth, such as How to Get ChatGPT to Recommend Your Business, and pair this with a strong digital footprint.
When you’re ready to level up your career and online presence, reach out via our contact page and let’s build something that actually gets you hired.
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